I have decided to drop the towel and expose the truth about my small – okay micro – business.

Today, I have some confessions to make:

• “We” are not a boutique consultancy catering for the needs of leading Australian businesses big and small. I just sit in my cramped third bedroom and charge by the hour.
• “We” do not tailor individual solutions based on your needs via our network of expert consultants with in-depth experience in your industry. I do sometimes work with Elizabeth though, and she’s a pretty good girl.
• Our “accounts department” is not requesting an update on the scheduled progress payment for job #6037. But my electrician wants to know when you’re going to cough up because I need a new fuse box.
• I currently have a chirping chicken in my shower cubicle, courtesy of my son’s pre-school. I have to carry the box outside when the phone rings.
• I regularly put my head down on the desk and snooze around 2.30pm.
• I sometimes work in my pyjamas.
• And, I have answered the office phone in the nude after a shower – more than once.

So there it is. That feels better. That’s the awful truth. I’m small, I’m alone and I’m happy.

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